Bail Out

I go through several weeks on a high about racking up the number of dates I can score for a week/weekend, and the next day when it's finally time to action item all my preparation, I bail out. I'm always wondering why this is, and for one - it certainly has nothing to do with nervousness or lack of confidence. To be honest, I'm not 100% confident but I often find myself in this "I just don't want to give it a try unless it's a for sure that I'll have a good time" type mood.

At this point, it's not even about putting myself out there - but it's legitimately about time and efficiency. If I'm working a 9-5 (read: 6a-10p) on NYC timeline, there's just not enough bargaining power with someone I've just met to really motivate me into putting in the effort to meet - let alone date a guy. I don't want to fake like someone either. So the question here is...how do you actually like like someone? Where does the effort begin and how do you know you're making the right effort?

The more and more I lull over this is that you never really truly know. Like the old adage, "everything that's worth it takes hard work and persistence." It's really hard to get yourself out of the rut and meet someone you barely even know, but the more and more you do it I assume...the more and more it becomes second nature and hopefully if you're lucky, you'll meet someone you'll click with after much "practice" of being yourself. Is this what dating is all about?

Life....please throw me a bone here.